(Past)Trauma - Spoken Word

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

 I  see it. 

When I look deep into my actions, my reflection

The ways that I tick.

The way that I act, it's slightly different.

No, it's not a different way. 

It's different from normal, what I perceive as normal.

Because, when I try to live without being too noticeable, it still shows.

It still worms its way into my thoughts. 

How I speak, react, move, it's there.

I try to prevent it from showing, I try to hide it well. 

Other times, I put it on stage. Let it bask in the spotlight

I'm always hoping I could move past it and just be better.

Other times, I make a statement that it's just the way I am.

These scars, these memories, these bruises. 

What will I do with them?

Perhaps a memorial to reflect on them. 

Or, makeup to cover them?

What will I do?

Maybe I should give it all to God.

Give Him the opportunity to rid my ashes for beauty.

Make this pressure worth it, so I can become a diamond.

I heard that scars don't turn Him away.

He doesn't grimace when He sees them

He likes to take the burden that we carry and bear them on His shoulders.

Make ways for us to avoid temptation and find pleasure in giving us joy.

I heard that His love doesn't care about what I did after the trauma.

Its only concern is reaching me, embracing me, comforting me.

I heard that He listens, too.

And, if I choose not to speak, then He knows the rhythm and falls of my heart. 

Again I ask, what shall I do?

Because I've been told about a friend who's ready for me to cast them all on Him. 

Then maybe, I won't be different anymore. 

I would be normal.

The normal, that shows my scars but also my progress to push forward.

~J&M Remedies

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