Relationships Before The Ring!

 

Before I get started, I just want to say that this topic has been chosen by my Instagram family! 

There has been a vote and this was one of the topics with the most votes. If you wish to have this privilege, please follow my IG page (@Raquels_Destiny). It's more active and you can DM, like, and comment as much as you want. You'll also be able to see inspirational posts every day. 

When I got this topic, I immediately thought that this was a loaded one. 

What are the viewers actually mean when they asked this one?

Are they asking if having multiple relationships before the ring is okay? Or, are they asking about dating that person before the ring?

So, I broke this down into a two-part series. 

I would speak about having multiple relationships first. 

In this world's society, it's hardly possible to not end up in a relationship with a person. 

We're humans. 

Built with emotions and feelings that we express through actions and words. 

If you like a person, you would normally be intrigued by them. Naturally, you will seek a connection with that person. 

I personally, don't see anything wrong with this. 

If you're getting to know another person because you like them, that is fine with me. 

However, you must remember that in these relationships that you will get yourself into, evaluate them. 

Let's be real honest with ourselves. 

Not every relationship we dove into was The One. 

Some relationships were puppy love. A moment in time of fun and sometimes even taught us valuable lessons about ourselves on a personal level. 

In these relationships that you know are not permanent with a promise, you must not empty yourself. 

Have you heard the saying, "Saving yourself for Marriage/ or the One"?

If yes, then I know you automatically thought about sex. 

Although I believe that one should not participate in sexual activities in the dating process and when there is no ring on your finger, I do not mean that. 

Saving yourself isn't just about your body, but your attributions and your energy. Physically, Mentally, Emotionally.

You shouldn't overexert yourself into someone's life you're in a relationship with just because you're their girlfriend/ boyfriend. 

Don't find yourself cooking every day for them. Cleaning their home. Overspending your money, or emptying yourself emotionally towards them when this may just be a temporary thing. 

I am not saying that you should put less into your relationship, but I am saying that you should not put all. 

That you should save yourself for that One. 

That person that God has saved for you. 

You shouldn't go ahead splitting your finances with a partner that is not yours for life, legally and spiritually. 

You shouldn't go ahead and exhaust yourself over just a title that doesn't hold much weight in a court system. 

I remember my friends and I were talking about a couple who were together for 10 years and wasn't married. The lady exhausted herself in her relationship and give her everything. In the end, she got nothing legally from her partner when he died. She was left with nothing to hold onto for emotional keeps or physically. She was left with only memories of him and noted as a 'Special Friend' on his obituary. 

I am not saying that if you are in a 5 year + relationship that you should rush and be married, but I am showing you what really happens when you exhaust yourself with no recognition.

Again, my advice is not professional advice. If they help you, then please take it and let it encourage you. If you think differently, then so be it. I still wish you the best. 

The second part:

Dating is frowned upon in Christian society. (Not my words, but my observation).

There are so many stipulations when one is saved and seeking to be married. It's like so many protocols are in place and you are basically under scrutiny because of it. 

I think the reason for this, is because of past experiences of other's dating and what most humans think happens or what does happen in the process. 

Dating is simply getting to know a person.

If in the right context, it is harmless and less scary than many make it out to believe. 

In the right context, you're taking this person out on dates and finding out about them. 

You're inviting them to a family gathering and seeing if they fit in. 

You're communicating with them on a healthy level and seeing what you like about them. 

In the right context, you're doing what Isaac did to Rachel when he works with her father for 14 years for her. 

Or, like Esther before finally marrying the king. 

You're finding out about each other without involved sexual acts. 

Sexual acts are what make it the 'wrong' context of dating. 

This is why dating is a scary thing in the Christian world. 

Frown upon. 

It's the reason why when you tell someone you're dating someone while in church, you're looked at funny. 

Because of this great temptation in many relationships, this automatic response comes into play. 

In your dating, please try your best to refrain from this act. 

The shacking up! 

It's the reason people advise when you're 'healthy' dating, to try to avoid going over to one another's houses. 

Try not to delve into a conversation that would lead you to the path. Or, certain actions that would make you take that turn. 

I know this would be hard. 

Trust me. 

Like I mention we are humans. We are built with emotions and feelings that may force us to act on them and practice self-control. 

Try to be respectful not just to your partner's requests, but to the morals that you have put in place. 

The bottom line, romantic relationships are not a bad thing. They are going to fall into your lap in certain parts of your life. It just depends on how you want them to go and if you're strong enough to conquer the temptation that comes with them. 

Are you able to differ what relationship is which?

Should you actually pursue it if it isn't going to lead anywhere?

Are they God's person for you?

Also, remember, you don't have to be in a relationship with a person all the time. It's okay to be alone sometimes. To date yourself. To understand yourself. 

I hope I helped you who are reading this and those of you who had voted. 

Please leave a comment. I would appreciate hearing your views!

~TheRay