You Are Forgiven

 

Psalm 103:8

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love"

I often have moments in my life where I am scared that one day I'll finally lose my mind. 

Mind battles are not a one-and-done situation, I've learned that. 

It is a continued battle that tests your strength and willpower. 

Because of this, I have sometimes pulled away, depressed, confused, and even guilt-stricken because why can I not get it together. 

Sometimes, the voice in my head gets a bit louder than me. At first, it was the loudest but by God's help and my constant fight it is not anymore. However, there are times when it gets louder and I hear:

"You aren't good enough" 

"You always fail" 

"Why do you even try" 

"You're not even going anywhere" 

I'm being very candid with you today in hopes that I am helping you who are reading this. 

It's a moment in the heat of the battle of my mind. Just a second or a minute where I begin to cave in. 

Surrender. 

This is the part that scares me. 

The part where I might agree. 

That pause.

The point where the possibility of me losing increases. 

I can actually fail. 

That right there is what worries me because that is where I feel my armor begin to crack. My resolve weakens just enough to let me even consider what it will be like to stop finally fighting. 

I have not let this happen, obviously, but it is all because of this trick I have. 

Because I realized the moment I begin to consider, then I begin to doubt. And, then doubt brings on unbelief.

This trick helps me get out of this scary trap. 

It is simply remembering that I am forgiven. 

I don't know why this basic information means so much to me, but it does. 

To know that I am messed up, have made mistakes and all the things I know that make me wallow are forgivable by Him makes me hope again. 

It makes my resolve strengthen one more time. 

It makes me feel like I am not lost forever or done with, you know?

The scripture above is what I constantly whisper to myself. 

It's a part of the trick. 

This is the phrase that I mainly say:

"For You are gracious and abounding in love" 

God is merciful and He is faithful in supplying His grace. With His love, He always ensures that it reaches us. 

Knowing this makes me stand up again. 

Knowing that He's not given up on me or even thinks about it makes me hold on a bit tighter.

That in my darkest, most defeated moments He's there with forgiveness and love that is unconditional. 

And, yes the enemy has tried to put a stop to this redeemable moment by saying that God's grace can run out on me. 

That soon mercy will say no to me. 

That one day, I'll use my last chance, but I remember the scripture and take note of the word 'abounding'.

Which means very plentiful; all the time; continuously; abundance. 

I remember that God is bound to His Word. 

So, that means, I am forgiven plentifully, all the time, and continuously. 

Despite my failures and my shortcomings, His love is abounding towards me. 

I hope that this post today helps you. I pray that it gives you the encouragement that you need to push for just one more time. 

To not finally give in to the voice in your head and to remember God's love. 

Remember that you are always forgiven. 

~TheRay